Compatibility in the Face of Differences
Tension of Adjustment
There is bound to be a measure of misunderstanding in every human-relationship, for even the most, ideally mated friends are distinct individuals, with unique mind and outlook on the world. Although reacting to the same experiences, we are bound to show different responses. From those differing responses, arise occasional clashes of temperament, which produce bitterness and strife.
An ideal relationship is not one in which clashes never occur. Such a relationship is impossible; if it pretends to exist anywhere, it is because one individual entering the relationship is not truly himself. He may have suppressed his individuality for that of his more dominant partner, but one who lives in servility cannot fulfill the highest role of a mate, whether in friendship or in marriage, which is not only to commend but also to reprove; not only to acclaim but also to challenge. Common values, however, not inevitably enough to create a friendship, if values are too diverging, it is unmanageable for a friendship to flourish. The noblest mate is not one whose voice is an echo of our own; it is one whose voice blends with ours, while speaking with the uninhibited resonance of a free individual in action.
With mindful breathing, they get calm, and they can be in touch with the wonders of life usable in the present moment.
An ideal relationship is one where compatibility is achieved in the face of differences, where the two voices speaking in different tones are adjusted to blend in harmony, for the precise meaning of harmony is the readiness of differing elements to seek a higher unity by complementing each other instead of competing with each other. In addition, if occasional clashes occur, true comrades on life’s journey do not become alarmed, since such clashes are, for them, the tensions of adjustment rather than the explosions of open war.
Restraining Violence and Killing
The only chastity a character needs to possess between hardcover, even if he bears a real person’s name, is vitality: if he comes to life in our imaginations, he passes the trial. In reality, when you feel low-spirited, lonely, betrayed, or any undesirable feelings, this is a significant moment on the religious path. This is where real transmutation can take place. The British academic philosopher Simon Blackburn writes in Being Good: a Short Introduction to Ethics,
Every society that is recognizably human will need some institution of property (some distinction between ‘mine’ and ‘yours’), some norm governing truth-telling, some conception of promise-giving, some standards restraining violence and killing. It will need some devices for regulating sexual expression, some sense of what is appropriate by way of treating strangers, or minorities, or children, or the aged, or handicapped. It will need some sense of how to distribute resources, and how to tread those who have none. In other words, across the whole spectrum of life, it will need some sense of what is expected and what is out of line.
The steelyard is an instrument of this variety, contrived for weighing bodies by an individual weight, whose velocity or distance from the airplane propeller, we increase in proportion to the weight unit to be known. As the air is thus capable of the most flexible enlargement, so is it also of being pressed into a small compass. The inherent aptitude of everything is to move away from pain and toward delight. Nevertheless, extravagant rigorousness is no less harmful. This would have the happiest effect upon their welfare, by allowing them to have complete rest, and to get exhaustively dry.
When we are continually moved by looking for the next experience and the next delight, it is like going from one mirage to another. That kind of trust pulls us in the direction of death. When you rely on what you know, you are perpetually relying on a map, which, as soon as it is drawn, has begun to depart from the territory it intended to describe, which life is. Neither could the prohibition be censured as spiritual persecution. The indebted countries are then constrained to privatize their public resourcefulness. I think of a very extraordinary echo, at a destroyed fortress near Louvain, in Flanders.