The Best Tweets by Career Coach Marty Nemko: Life Lead Well & Career Success

Marty Nemko is an Oakland, CA-based career coach, and author.

Marty Nemko is an Oakland, CA-based career coach, and author. Marty hosts the “Work with Marty Nemko” on KALW-FM, an NPR-San Francisco station.

'How to Do Life: What they didn't teach you in school' by Marty Nemko (ISBN 1467960705) Marty Nemko blogs about career, education, men’s and boys’ issues, the life well-led, and improving the world at martynemko.blogspot.com/. A compilation of his articles and writings are at www.martynemko.com/. His YouTube channel is at www.youtube.com/user/mnemko.

Marty also published a compilation of his articles in newspapers, blogs, magazines, and on his website in book chock full of wisdom: ‘How to Do Life: What they didn’t teach you in school’.

Here are the very best of Marty Nemko’s tweets from his @MartyNemko handle.

  • “I even take care to tear-off single sheets of toilet paper. Because I’m cheap? No. Because it’ll help the environment? No. I just think wasting is wrong.”
  • “If you relentlessly pursue a big goal with laser-beam focus, you will likely like your life and be a most worthy person.”
  • “Where at all ethically possible, we must give others hope. Without it, a person figuratively or even literally dies.”
  • “Exploring what your parents did to you may provide insight but, often, your life is no better. It just legitimizes your malaise, maybe even increases your stuckness..”
  • “Facing our parents’ aging forces us to confront our own mortality. It reminds us to appreciate and live each moment wisely.”
  • “Keep it simple: Reasonable diets all distill to: Lots of vegetables and legumes, some fruit, and small portions of everything else.”
  • “Be kind where you can, tough where you should.”
  • “If you have a clearly good idea, to avoid getting talked out of it, get input only on how to better execute it.”
  • “As we age, we may accrue a creeping bitter wisdom.”
  • “Telling people I can’t lose weight may make me eat more—to prove myself right. Perhaps if I told people, “‘I’m gonna lose 20.'””
  • “There’s cost and benefit each time you criticize or suggest. Sometimes, it’s worth the price. Make the choice consciously.”
  • “That a partner ‘gets’ you, this is what above all cements love: love as accurate (but still benevolent) interpretation.”
  • “A desire to “give back” needn’t imply giving to the neediest. It could mean giving to those with the most potential to benefit.”
  • “We dun perfectionism, e.g., as causing procrastination. Yet haven’t your perfectionist efforts yielded the most good & satisfaction?”
  • “A mantra to cure procrastinators: It needn’t be perfect; it needn’t be fun; it just has to get done.”
  • “Far better than a course is self-study + a tutor to get you past your trouble spots.”
  • “Far more of life’s pleasures are in the process than in the outcome. Be in the moment.
  • “Whatever bad awaits, don’t let it spoil the present moment.”
  • “Scratch the surface of any thinking ideologue and you’ll find doubts. Ask, “Ever wondered whether the other side might be right?””
  • “Might you be wise to focus more on self-acceptance than self-improvement? That might even motivate you to self-improve.”
  • “More than a little “processing” of past bad experiences is often counterproductive.”
  • “No matter how brilliant you are, if your style is too intense, most people will dismiss you.”
  • “It’s easy to be liked: listen more than talk, praise often, and disagree rarely. The question is, is it worth the loss of integrity? “
  • “Long-winded? Constantly ask yourself, “Does the person really need & want to know this phrase?” And keep utterances to <30 sec.”
  • “I used to think most people are intrinsically motivated to work hard. But I’m finding that many if not most people need monitoring.”
  • “The key to a well-led life is maxing your contribution. Happiness, less key, is most likely found in simple pleasures.”
  • “How feeble are we that we’re swayed more by dubious flattery than by valid suggestions.”
  • “Key to being liked: While retaining integrity, do more agreeing, amplifying, empathizing. do less arguing, one-upping, yes-butting.”
  • “Why do so many people prefer a silly, manipulative, games-playing, selfish hottie over an ugly, intense, honest, kind person?”
  • “It all comes down to this: Do good.
  • “You’ll likely learn more of enduring value from an hour of wise googling than from any course.”
  • “Part of getting older may mean having to accept that we may not make as big a difference in the world as we had hoped.”
  • “For many people, before age 60, it’s business before pleasure. After 60, pleasure before business.”
  • “To boost self-esteem: accept you’re flawed like everyone, do what you’re good at, & accomplish: Even little wins boost self-esteem.”
  • “A clue to what career or avocation you should pursue is to inventory how you actually spend your discretionary time.”
  • “If you’ve been beaten up in Rounds 1-9, it’s hard to come out for Round 10.”
  • “It’s hard to change people’s work style: aggressive vs passive, hardworking vs moderate. So it may be wise to praise their status-quo.”
  • “Many people can do well in school, even get PhDs, yet are unhireable in the real world. The degree is US’s most overrated product.”
  • “A resume rarely helps—it’s too filled with chemistry-inhibiting cliche. Write & tell the “resume” that’d reveal your true story & self.”
  • “Be tough where you must be, kind where you can be.”
  • “You can do everything right and still fail, not just once, but overall in life. Luck is more important than we acknowledge.”
  • “A clue to what career you should pursue: When you’re really comfortable, what do you love to talk about?”
  • “If you want to lock in a new attitude or behavior, say and/or write that and why. Then keep paraphrasing, NOT reading it.”
  • “Before making an argument, ask a likely opponent to lay out the counterargument. Your argument can then incorporate that.”
  • “In your desire to stand out from the horde, beware of hyping yourself, your ideas, or taking inappropriately extreme positions.”
  • “Giving advice makes the recipient feel less efficacious, so weigh that against the benefit your advice will likely yield.”
  • “Unefficacious people can’t or CHOOSE TO not bounce back—it’s a good excuse to avoid facing their inefficacy yet again.”
  • Teamwork is deified. Don’t forget the pluses of individualism: more motivation, bolder/less compromised solutions, speed.”
  • “When overwhelmed, after doing any needed planning, just stay in the moment and put one foot in front of the other.”
  • “If your self-esteem is low, perhaps focus on finding work you can succeed at. Real self-esteem comes from accomplishment.”
  • “If someone smiles at you with pursed lips, they’re generally forcing the smile—either because they’re shy or don’t like you.”
  • “Wasting money on designer labels is so 20th-century. It’s a permanent loss of money in exchange an evanescent feel-good.”
  • “Don’t confuse tact with cowardice. Sometimes, it’s wise to speak up boldly.”
  • “Talking too much is a career killer. Keep all utterances to less than 45 seconds &, in dialogue, speak a bit LESS than 50% of the time.”
  • “School can give a false sense of confidence or of loserhood. Too often, school success does not predict life success.”
  • “Your goal must not be to impress but to accomplish. That usually demands bringing out the best in others.
  • “Just because you CAN prove someone wrong, doesn’t mean you should.”
  • “I fear we’ll make everything equal until everyone has nothing.”
  • “To boost motivation: what’s your next 1-second task? It feels good to get even a tiny task done, make progress, and maybe learn something.”
  • “To disagree without creating enmity: “I can see why you’d X. (explain.) And (not but) I’m wondering if Y. What do you think?””
  • “In managing & parenting, praise when you can, & when you can’t, try invoking guilt, e.g., “I know you’re better than this.””
  • “The most powerful motivator may not be fear—people go back to bad habits after a heart attack. Could it be proving themselves right?”
  • “As we age, there’s a creeping bitter wisdom we accrue.”
  • “When you think you can nail someone with your argument, take a breath & see if you can phrase it as a face-saving question.”
  • “Some people are nice as a way of compensating for their not being good.”
  • “If possible, slightly under-schedule yourself. That gives you the time to make your work higher-quality.”
  • “Ever get tired of being nice? Tempted to throw caution to the wind and say what you really think? If deserved, even yell? “
  • “Winners do not let themselves succumb to anything. They distract themselves by immersing themselves in their most engaging work.”
  • “Good conversationalists choose a topic that enables each participant to contribute. “
  • “It worked for me, it can work for you books aren’t helpful because typical readers are less smart & driven than book authors.”
  • “To broaden your horizons, mix with people other than people from your own background (professional, cultural, social, academic, racial, ethnic, etc.) Most people prefer the company of other people from similar backgrounds. Birds of a feather do flock together.”
  • “Most of us think ourselves bold, individualistic thinkers when in fact we’re tepid if not downright lemmings.”
  • “Good, simple conversation starter, “What’s doing in your life?” or “Whatcha been thinking about these days?””
  • “What skill of yours has given you the must success? Use it more.”
  • “The most valuable way to spend a dollar? A memo pad. Keep it with you at all times. Think of ideas. Write them down. Implement them.”
  • “Successful, productive people fuel themselves with their work & accomplishment, unsuccessful people through recreation.”
  • “The desire to be right usually trumps the desire for truth.”
  • “The only God resides within us: It is our our wisest attitudes and actions.”
  • “We hear stories of persistence rewarded yet for each of those, hundreds have pressed on only to end up broken and/or broke.”
  • “If the risk/reward ratio of taking an action is good, even if you may fail, it’s usually wise to follow Nike’s advice: Just do it!”
  • “Sometimes, a problem has both a rational and an irrational component. It may help to try to solve those separately.”
  • “People see counselors when they could journal on their own. People take classes when they could read on their own. Why? They’re forced to act.”
  • “Don’t give up prematurely. Your continued efforts will iterate, improve based on lessons learned from your past failures.”

The Very Best of GS Elevator Gossip’s Tweets

Goldman Sachs Logo If you think twitter is just a waste of time, think again. One could argue that twitter is first and foremost just noise and clutter—merely, one more time drain. Twitter can actually be good for something beyond revealing, in less than 140 characters, your whereabouts, posting unintelligent commentary, or which of your friends needs to get out more.

Consider @GSElevator, GS Elevator Gossip, a twitter account. Obscuring the thin line between the hysterically preposterous and extremely realistic, this twitter claims to dish the dirt on the happenings in the elevators at Goldman Sachs’s offices. “The first few were either conversations that I have overheard directly, or that have been told to me by colleagues,” he claims in this interview with NYT’s Deal Book column.

Here’s a sampling of some of the very best of GS Elevator Gossip’s tweets:

  • The most and least successful people all share the same trait: thinking they’re never wrong.
  • Don’t worry, some people are their own punishment in life.
  • #1: A lot of people who start their own business do it because they’re unemployable.
    #2: Yup. Look at Meredith Whitney.
  • Most people don’t understand that God cast them as extras in this movie.
  • You’ll never feel special if 100% of your friends are in the top 1%.
  • Handshakes and tie knots. I don’t have time for someone who can’t master those basic skills.
  • Relationships are like a seesaw. If one of you gets too bored or too fat, the fun is over.
  • The difference between us and everybody else is that, even in a bad year, we still make the playoffs.
  • Listening is part waiting for your turn to speak and part reminding yourself to change facial expressions every 10 seconds.
  • Only idiots get bored when we’ve all got handheld devices containing infinite knowledge at our fingertips.
  • Before people are allowed to opine about Syria, they should have to locate it on a map.
  • Too many people are smart enough to be angry, but not smart enough to be successful.
  • 'What Would Machiavelli Do? The Ends Justify the Meanness ' by Stanley Bing (ISBN 0066620104) Let’s be honest. There’s no way your guess is as good as mine.
  • Don’t apologize for being late with a Starbucks latte in your hand.
  • Most celebrities barely have high school diplomas so who gives a shit what they think on substantive issues.
  • And sometimes, people who don’t say much, don’t say much for a reason.
  • It’s okay to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.
  • 98% of people making comments about Nelson Mandela on social media would fail a history quiz on Nelson Mandela.
  • I never said I was better than anyone, just more successful.
  • When I hear, “Got a minute?” I know I’m about to lose a half hour of my life that I can never get back.
  • I never give money to homeless people. I can’t reward failure in good conscience.
  • I don’t even remember how I managed to ignore my wife at dinner before the Blackberry era.
  • Checking your phone after someone else pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation.
  • Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.
  • In life, as in sports, the boos always come from the cheap seats.
  • 'The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions' by Scott Adams (ISBN 0887308589) It’s not the lie that bothers me. It’s the insult to my intelligence that I find offensive.
  • Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.
  • Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
  • Being spotted in economy class must be like having your parents visit you at boarding school in a shitty rental car.
  • Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
  • For people who believe everything happens for a reason, that reason is that they’re idiots who make shitty decisions.
  • Act like you’ve been there before. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the end zone at the Super Bowl or on a private plane.
  • You shouldn’t retire until your money starts making more money than you made in your best year.
  • Money might not buy happiness, but I’ll take my chances!
  • I start every cell conversation with “my phone’s about to die” so they don’t waste my time.
  • I doubt alcohol kills more people than it creates.
  • There are only 2 paths to happiness in life. Stupidity or exceptional wealth.
  • If life’s a game, money is how you keep score.
  • 'Crazy Bosses' by Stanley Bing (ISBN 0060731575) Clearly the NSA doesn’t monitor Facebook. That’s where all the experts are solving this Government standoff.
  • Black Friday is the Special Olympics of Capitalism.
  • People who always fly business class don’t post photos of themselves flying business class.
  • Skirt #1: I can always tell a banker within the first 2 minutes of meeting him in a bar… because he tells me.
  • Feminists are just ugly underachievers who need an excuse for their failures.
  • It’s too bad stupidity isn’t painful.
  • Flowers and an apology are a lot easier than actually changing.
  • If she expects the person you are 20% of the time, 100% of the time, then she doesn’t want you.
  • There are no feminists when the ship hits an iceberg.
  • You can never awaken a man who Is pretending to be asleep.
  • Bribery, corruption… It’s the cost of doing business in emerging markets. As Mao said, “no fish can live in pure water.”
  • Stop talking about where you went to college.
  • I don’t care if any one comes to my funeral. It’s not like I’ll be there.
  • '21 Dirty Tricks at Work: How to Beat the Game of Office Politics' by Mike Phipps, Colin Gautrey (ISBN 1841126578) Too many people still answer the phone like they don’t know who’s calling.
  • If you abstain from smoking, drinking, and using drugs, you don’t actually live longer. It just seems longer.
  • #1: “The only reason I have a home phone is so I can find my cell phone.”
    #2: “Our maid does that.”
  • If you brag about starting at the bottom and making it to the top, you are probably still closer to the bottom.
  • The fact that most people are too stupid to know how dumb they really are is the fabric holding our society together.
  • The difference between petting and hitting a dog is it’s tolerance for pain. Same goes for 1st year analysts.
  • The Cheesecake Factory looks like a restaurant poor people think rich people might eat at.
  • I’d rather be me now, than have been the quarterback in high school.
  • If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it tried to do better, but decided to just settle with you.
  • Don’t confuse friends, work friends, and friends of convenience.
  • Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits a target no one else can see.
  • Getting an idea around is as important as getting an idea.
  • If riding the bus doesn’t incentivize you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
  • 'Throwing the Elephant: Zen and the Art of Managing Up' by Stanley Bing (ISBN 0060934220) The lottery is just a way of taxing poor people who don’t know math.
  • In sensitivity training, they say we should avoid sports analogies bc they’re sexist… Which seems even more sexist.
  • It’s sweet how my wife thinks the silent treatment is a punishment for me.
  • Getting rich isn’t hard. Any hot girl with questionable morals can do it.
  • Work hard. Eat right. Exercise. Don’t drink too much. And only buy what you can afford. It’s not rocket science.
  • Guys who mime golf swings in the office never break 100 on the course.
  • One of the biggest problems with todays society is that we’ve run out of colonies to send our undesirables to.
  • I wish I loved anything as much as I hate almost everything.
  • Truly intelligent people don’t feel compelled to talk about their IQ. In fact, I don’t even know what mine is.
  • #1: “A year from now, he’ll be the guy that starts off every sentence with “When I was at Goldman Sachs …””
    #2: “I hate those people.”
  • “Just be yourself” is good advice to probably 5% of people.
  • Blacking out is just your brain clearing it’s browser history.
  • If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
  • Remember, “rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”
  • 'How to Lie with Statistics' by Darrell Huff (ISBN 0393310728) Skirt #1: “It really hurts my feelings when an ugly guy hits on me.”
  • When you tell a story, all I can think about is how much shorter it should be.
  • Right now is the oldest you’ve ever been & the youngest you’ll ever be again.
  • If you can only be good at one thing, be good at lying… because if you’re good at lying, you’re good at everything.
  • Most people wouldn’t even be the main character in a movie about their own lives.
  • My favorite part of dinner with my fiance is when she goes to the bathroom and I can check my Blackberry.
  • I say “keep the change” purely for my own convenience.

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