Author: James Moore

Marty Nemko is an Oakland, CA-based career coach, and author. Marty hosts the “Work with Marty Nemko” on KALW-FM, an NPR-San Francisco station.

Marty Nemko blogs about career, education, men’s and boys’ issues, the life well-led, and improving the world at martynemko.blogspot.com/. A compilation of his articles and writings are at www.martynemko.com/. His YouTube channel is at www.youtube.com/user/mnemko.

Marty also published a compilation of his articles in newspapers, blogs, magazines, and on his website in book chock full of wisdom: ‘How to Do Life: What they didn’t teach you in school’.

Here are the very best of Marty Nemko’s tweets from his @MartyNemko handle.

• “I even take care to tear-off single sheets of toilet paper. Because I’m cheap? No. Because it’ll help the environment? No. I just think wasting is wrong.”
• “If you relentlessly pursue a big goal with laser-beam focus, you will likely like your life and be a most worthy person.”
• “Where at all ethically possible, we must give others hope. Without it, a person figuratively or even literally dies.”
• “Exploring what your parents did to you may provide insight but, often, your life is no better. It just legitimizes your malaise, maybe even increases your stuckness..”
• “Facing our parents’ aging forces us to confront our own mortality. It reminds us to appreciate and live each moment wisely.”
• “Keep it simple: Reasonable diets all distill to: Lots of vegetables and legumes, some fruit, and small portions of everything else.”
• “Be kind where you can, tough where you should.”
• “If you have a clearly good idea, to avoid getting talked out of it, get input only on how to better execute it.”
• “As we age, we may accrue a creeping bitter wisdom.”
• “Telling people I can’t lose weight may make me eat more—to prove myself right. Perhaps if I told people, “‘I’m gonna lose 20.'””
• “There’s cost and benefit each time you criticize or suggest. Sometimes, it’s worth the price. Make the choice consciously.”
• “That a partner ‘gets’ you, this is what above all cements love: love as accurate (but still benevolent) interpretation.”
• “A desire to “give back” needn’t imply giving to the neediest. It could mean giving to those with the most potential to benefit.”
• “We dun perfectionism, e.g., as causing procrastination. Yet haven’t your perfectionist efforts yielded the most good & satisfaction?”
• “A mantra to cure procrastinators: It needn’t be perfect; it needn’t be fun; it just has to get done.”
• “Far better than a course is self-study + a tutor to get you past your trouble spots.”
• “Far more of life’s pleasures are in the process than in the outcome. Be in the moment.“
• “Whatever bad awaits, don’t let it spoil the present moment.”
• “Scratch the surface of any thinking ideologue and you’ll find doubts. Ask, “Ever wondered whether the other side might be right?””
• “Might you be wise to focus more on self-acceptance than self-improvement? That might even motivate you to self-improve.”
• “More than a little “processing” of past bad experiences is often counterproductive.”
• “No matter how brilliant you are, if your style is too intense, most people will dismiss you.”
• “It’s easy to be liked: listen more than talk, praise often, and disagree rarely. The question is, is it worth the loss of integrity? “
• “Long-winded? Constantly ask yourself, “Does the person really need & want to know this phrase?” And keep utterances to <30 sec.”
• “I used to think most people are intrinsically motivated to work hard. But I’m finding that many if not most people need monitoring.”
• “The key to a well-led life is maxing your contribution. Happiness, less key, is most likely found in simple pleasures.”
• “How feeble are we that we’re swayed more by dubious flattery than by valid suggestions.”
• “Key to being liked: While retaining integrity, do more agreeing, amplifying, empathizing. do less arguing, one-upping, yes-butting.”
• “Why do so many people prefer a silly, manipulative, games-playing, selfish hottie over an ugly, intense, honest, kind person?”
• “It all comes down to this: Do good.“
• “You’ll likely learn more of enduring value from an hour of wise googling than from any course.”
• “Part of getting older may mean having to accept that we may not make as big a difference in the world as we had hoped.”
• “For many people, before age 60, it’s business before pleasure. After 60, pleasure before business.”
• “To boost self-esteem: accept you’re flawed like everyone, do what you’re good at, & accomplish: Even little wins boost self-esteem.”
• “A clue to what career or avocation you should pursue is to inventory how you actually spend your discretionary time.”
• “If you’ve been beaten up in Rounds 1-9, it’s hard to come out for Round 10.”
• “It’s hard to change people’s work style: aggressive vs passive, hardworking vs moderate. So it may be wise to praise their status-quo.”
• “Many people can do well in school, even get PhDs, yet are unhireable in the real world. The degree is US’s most overrated product.”
• “A resume rarely helps—it’s too filled with chemistry-inhibiting cliche. Write & tell the “resume” that’d reveal your true story & self.”
• “Be tough where you must be, kind where you can be.”
• “You can do everything right and still fail, not just once, but overall in life. Luck is more important than we acknowledge.”
• “A clue to what career you should pursue: When you’re really comfortable, what do you love to talk about?”
• “If you want to lock in a new attitude or behavior, say and/or write that and why. Then keep paraphrasing, NOT reading it.”
• “Before making an argument, ask a likely opponent to lay out the counterargument. Your argument can then incorporate that.”
• “In your desire to stand out from the horde, beware of hyping yourself, your ideas, or taking inappropriately extreme positions.”
• “Giving advice makes the recipient feel less efficacious, so weigh that against the benefit your advice will likely yield.”
• “Unefficacious people can’t or CHOOSE TO not bounce back—it’s a good excuse to avoid facing their inefficacy yet again.”
• ” Teamwork is deified. Don’t forget the pluses of individualism: more motivation, bolder/less compromised solutions, speed.”
• “When overwhelmed, after doing any needed planning, just stay in the moment and put one foot in front of the other.”
• “If your self-esteem is low, perhaps focus on finding work you can succeed at. Real self-esteem comes from accomplishment.”
• “If someone smiles at you with pursed lips, they’re generally forcing the smile—either because they’re shy or don’t like you.”
• “Wasting money on designer labels is so 20th-century. It’s a permanent loss of money in exchange an evanescent feel-good.”
• “Don’t confuse tact with cowardice. Sometimes, it’s wise to speak up boldly.”
• “Talking too much is a career killer. Keep all utterances to less than 45 seconds &, in dialogue, speak a bit LESS than 50% of the time.”
• “School can give a false sense of confidence or of loserhood. Too often, school success does not predict life success.”
• “Your goal must not be to impress but to accomplish. That usually demands bringing out the best in others.
• “Just because you CAN prove someone wrong, doesn’t mean you should.”
• “I fear we’ll make everything equal until everyone has nothing.”
• “To boost motivation: what’s your next 1-second task? It feels good to get even a tiny task done, make progress, and maybe learn something.”
• “To disagree without creating enmity: “I can see why you’d X. (explain.) And (not but) I’m wondering if Y. What do you think?””
• “In managing & parenting, praise when you can, & when you can’t, try invoking guilt, e.g., “I know you’re better than this.””
• “The most powerful motivator may not be fear—people go back to bad habits after a heart attack. Could it be proving themselves right?”
• “As we age, there’s a creeping bitter wisdom we accrue.”
• “When you think you can nail someone with your argument, take a breath & see if you can phrase it as a face-saving question.”
• “Some people are nice as a way of compensating for their not being good.”
• “If possible, slightly under-schedule yourself. That gives you the time to make your work higher-quality.”
• “Ever get tired of being nice? Tempted to throw caution to the wind and say what you really think? If deserved, even yell? “
• “Winners do not let themselves succumb to anything. They distract themselves by immersing themselves in their most engaging work.”
• “Good conversationalists choose a topic that enables each participant to contribute. “
• “It worked for me, it can work for you books aren’t helpful because typical readers are less smart & driven than book authors.”
• “To broaden your horizons, mix with people other than people from your own background (professional, cultural, social, academic, racial, ethnic, etc.) Most people prefer the company of other people from similar backgrounds. Birds of a feather do flock together.”
• “Most of us think ourselves bold, individualistic thinkers when in fact we’re tepid if not downright lemmings.”
• “Good, simple conversation starter, “What’s doing in your life?” or “Whatcha been thinking about these days?””
• “What skill of yours has given you the must success? Use it more.”
• “The most valuable way to spend a dollar? A memo pad. Keep it with you at all times. Think of ideas. Write them down. Implement them.”
• “Successful, productive people fuel themselves with their work & accomplishment, unsuccessful people through recreation.”
• “The desire to be right usually trumps the desire for truth.”
• “The only God resides within us: It is our our wisest attitudes and actions.”
• “We hear stories of persistence rewarded yet for each of those, hundreds have pressed on only to end up broken and/or broke.”
• “If the risk/reward ratio of taking an action is good, even if you may fail, it’s usually wise to follow Nike’s advice: Just do it!”
• “Sometimes, a problem has both a rational and an irrational component. It may help to try to solve those separately.”
• “People see counselors when they could journal on their own. People take classes when they could read on their own. Why? They’re forced to act.”
• “Don’t give up prematurely. Your continued efforts will iterate, improve based on lessons learned from your past failures.”