The Ego Cannot Proceed Without Restraints
Frustrations May Indeed Be Acts of Genuine Love
The greatest of all arts is the art of love. We seek the well-being of those who are the objects of our affection. But how can we achieve this? Showering gifts on a child and allowing him to have his way at all times will not serve his well-being. It may even corrupt him and make him a mean and contemptible creature. On the other hand, thwarting him unduly may destroy his sense of security and cripple him emotionally for the rest of his life.
We need affection and the things it provides. However, affection is not a green light permitting the ego to proceed without restraints. It expresses itself in giving, but also in denying, in caressing but also in rebuking. The instinctive self-seeking of the child will grow into the irrational compulsions of the adult unless as a child he learns that his will was meant to have reason as its master. By reason, I mean that which teaches a man to walk through life with humility.
He who has never been frustrated will become an insufferable brat whatever his age. Occasional frustrations are good for the soul. We cannot live in a civilized society and give vent to all the impulses that exist in our natures. Some of them must be vetoed; some of them must be frustrated; and some must be vetoed and frustrated at particular moments. Thus parents who frustrate their children’s whims are not necessarily violating their love for them. In the right proportion, such frustrations may indeed be acts of genuine love.
What you will not find, all the same, is the one thing you are looking for your own happiness, peace of mind, and educated nature.
Politeness Should Be Reciprocally Valued
We ourselves also have moments when our mental attitude to life is like this-moments when our profound humanity is awakened and manifests itself. A body weighed nicely before it is put into the fire, and then weighed again, will be found to be increased in weight very reasonably. Thus the old man, even against the vehemence of this regretful commotion of his life, and all the rest, will live happy: and be ought to value that happiness the more because he will owe it to his own discernment. So that any lady or gentleman of sense and liberalness, may, thus assisted, become self-governing physicians, and often save not only their own, but the life of a friend or of a fellow creature, when manifestly at the point of death—and when given over by even the best physicians. British author, editor, and social entrepreneur Dougald Hine once wrote,
A harnessing of desire such that to be a good economic citizen became to work hard today for a deferred reward and in that you lose the festive culture where a surplus is an excuse for an animal experience of a feast rather than a surplus being something that is rationally reinvested. … Victorian morality … is the playing out …. of the relationship between time and desire which is inaugurated by a economic culture which is orientated around deferred gratification. And then at a certain point of time in the developed countries to be a good economic citizen begins to shift from being a good producer to being a good consumer, so what you have is that you spend on your credit card today and worry about how you are going to pay for it tomorrow …. an abstract contortion between desire and time
Nobody learns anything if politeness is not reciprocally valued. Many arts have been tried to make saltwater fresh and potable; the welfare of which would be, that in long voyages, when a ship’s company wanted fresh water, they might make use of seawater as a very easy interchange, by freshening it according to art. Sometimes being modest about our ability to genuinely operate oeuvre every facet of our life is good; it means we can focus instead on reacting vigorously to life’s stochasticity. Therefore, humanity is awakened to serious rumination. The greatest object lesson in life is to know that even fools are right on sometimes. We tend to equate ourselves with others and to wonder if we have enough to proffer in a relationship. However, were the knowledge of religious belief merely wondering, though’ the conjecture must be allowed to be noble, yet less could be said of its importance. Much of this work is conducted without much cognizance of its particular failings, difficulties, and critiques.